By it’s most basic definition, conflict is simply a difference in opinion or thought. By this we mean that every person is their own unique individual, and thinks uniquely from anyone else. We process the world around us in different ways, so it’s natural that we would have a difference of opinion regarding the world in which we work and operate. We all live and breathe conflict, at least in it’s simplest terms, but it’s how we deal with that conflict that changes the outcomes and success of our workplace and personal lives.

Every day we deal with differing opinions, and we negotiate how we react to those opinions in many split second decisions. For example, a driver in the lane next to you decides to come over into your lane of traffic without signaling, causing you to make a decision of how you will react. Will you become furious toward them and continue to stay on their tail because they didn’t give you the “proper” notice that they would be coming into your lane? Will you ease off and give them the space you need to comfortably keep up with the flow of traffic, while allowing for abrupt changes in traffic flow? In the workplace, this could be something as simple as copying the wrong person onto an email, or disagreeing with the new direction of the project you’ve been assigned.

As natural as conflict is in our world and in our lives, we need to know how to navigate the world to use conflict in a healthy manner. We need to know how to best react in a given situation so that we can clearly express our opinion and our personal boundaries, without demeaning those people with which we have differing opinions. Whether we take a few seconds to formulate our thoughts, or we ask for clarification of their opinion to better understand the meaning behind it, we need to know which tools will be most appropriate in order for us to move into a positive direction, resulting in a positive experience.